Diamonds & Dirt

I'm getting a farm girl tan. Days spent bent over pulling weeds in the garden in a pair of shorts too short for me to wear comfortably in public, a pair of rubber boots up to my knees and whatever shirt I happen to be wearing. I have a stripe across my lower back, and on the back of my legs that stops abruptly at my knees.

My hands haven't developed calluses yet, but they have seen better days. They're rough and stained. I gave up on nail polish years ago- I use my hands too much, it chips and within a day it just needs to be taken off but I don't have time, so I don't bother. I've given up on having long perfectly shaped nails. They break.

I never was super-girly-girl. Sure I wore make-up, got my nails done, even used to get my hair highlighted and *GASP* laid in a tanning bed once. But it never was me.

So I haven't felt like I've had to give anything up, really.

Before I said good-bye to working full-time, we were nervous about me not working. I was quick to point out that when we first got married, that I worked part-time, he worked a little more than part time and was going to school full-time. But when we made more, we spent more. I remember the entire time I was pregnant with my oldest, I didn't spend a DIME that I didn't absolutely have to spend the entire time.

But we still had our doubts, plus we were adding a new member to the family at the same time. And it's worked. We've been running on less money in the past 2.5 years, but our quality of life is so much better. My schedule was allover the place, and I just never felt like a grown-up with a family because we never got to see each other and do family stuff.

It's all been worth it.

Before we were ever pregnant with #2, and I'd planned on being a stay at home mom to homeschool anyway, my husbands ex-stepmom recommended a book called 'Your Money or Your Life' by Vicki Robin & Joe Dominguez. I did not finish the book, honestly. But the basic idea still rings true. You have to look at things you want and calculate how many hours of your life you have to give up in order to pay for it, whether it's a new pair of shoes, massage, etc.

God has blessed me with 3 beautiful girls and tons more. He didn't give me these girls to pawn off on someone else, my homeschool mantra- 'I didn't have these kids just for someone else to raise them'.

One day, my girls will grow up and go and do things without me. They'll move out of my house. I'll have my me time then.

For now, I enjoy watching my girls each and everyday. They change so much. My littlest grows everyday. My middle does something hilarious everyday. And my oldest is at that make-or-break age where I need to be constant.

So you can keep your designer clothes, your manicures, pedicures, new cellphones. You can keep your trips with no kids. I don't want to be away from my kids anymore than I have to. I'm gonna keep doing what I like. And that's spending time with my kids.